7 Types Of Salaries We Have In Kenya. Which One Describes Yours?

Posted by | August 17, 2017 | Scholarships_CareerTips

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By Lilian Wamaitha

Most people in Kenya are underpaid and earn much less than they are worth. Most jobs seekers will end up job hunting for so long and most of them will end up in jobs that are in no way related to what they did in school and if they are the salary package is not anything to be proud of.

But what can you do, right? We have bills to pay and goals to accomplish in life. We have to be content with what we have and thank the heavens that we have that job in the first place.

That said here are the seven types of salaries we have in Kenya.

1. The onion salary

With an onion salary, happiness is never your cup of tea. You get it, look at it and start crying. It’s not enough.

You have rent to pay, student loans to think about, shopping to do, debts to clear and you just can’t think of how to manage that salary to cover it all.

And the worse thing is that you have been working your ass off for so long now and yet your boss is not saying anything about a review.

2. The diet salary

It’s so small that with every paycheck, your food budget reduces and the food crisis doesn’t help the situation either.

If for instance last month you could afford meat, this month it’s just greens.

3. The magic salary

With this kind of salary, just like a magical act, you make a few moves and poof! It’s gone. It’s that kind of situation where you think that you have a lot of money in the account after running some errands and paying some bills only to finds a mere 200 and a few cents. And it’s just the first week of the month!

4. The impotent salary

Just like impotency, this kind of salary is never there when you need it. You have a lot of bills to pay and yet the bank account is still reading zero. Your employer doesn’t seem to have the slightest comprehension about how much you need this money.

You have a lot of debts but you are not sure when you will paid next if at all you will be paid but you still go to the same job everyday hoping for the best.

5. The PMS Salary

This kind of salary comes once a month and lasts for 3-5 days. There is no account for what you have done with the money.

You have even lost count of the last time you save a hundred shillings with Mshwari. And next month is still the same. And the cycle continues until you can’t take it anymore and need to do something better with your life.

6. The tornado salary

You cannot tell when it’s going to come and you certainly have no idea how long it’s going to last. From geography, we all know that a tornado appears anytime. There is no telling when it will strike and how much damage it will cause.

Well, a tornado salary is just like that. This is because unlike other employees who are paid on time, your boss doesn’t seem to understand that. He/she will pay you when they think it’s convenient and there is no telling if they will pay in full or just a portion of it.

7. The condom salary

You think you are going to enjoy it but nothing. It kills your inspiration and the will to live. It’s literary like someone put a gun to your head. You lose all hope and you start making plans of getting a new job, where you will be appreciated for who you are but the job market doesn’t work like that.

So on Monday, you wake up early and go to the same boring job, work for so many hours, go home dog tired and expect the same insult of a salary at the end of the month.